


I Will Love You

by alternate_me



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Angst, M/M, Monologue, Short, silverflint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-29 07:50:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10849644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alternate_me/pseuds/alternate_me
Summary: I’ll not be one of the many good things of your life, I’ll be one of the few.





	I Will Love You

**Author's Note:**

> So, funny story: I'd originally written this as a Destiel fic back in 2014. And then, a few days ago, I decided to read it again, and I realized it was not Destiel at all, instead, it was so silverflint it hurt.  
> I'll explain it better at the end (because spoilers)
> 
> (Also, it's from Silver's POV)

I’m not the one who will go _home_ with you. I’m not the one who, after battles, will _kiss_ you and _laugh_ with you.

We will not sit outside in a warm evening, while the summer breeze dishevel my hair and you grin as you move it away from my eyes. We won’t watch the countless stars in the sky, talking about small things, like the color of your eyes, like your favorite books.

I’m not the one for whom you’ll talk about the future, about your plans and dreams. I’m not the one who will see your easy smile, the one you’ll kiss and hug as if there was nothing to worry about.

Maybe I could try to be this person. But I don’t think I’d be able to. I don’t think you’d able to. Not after everything we’ve done, everything we’ve seen. These are like a permanent stain. It won’t wash out. It’ll stay with us.

I’m the one who will _fight_ beside you, who will _bleed_ for you, who will _die_ for you.

We are going to arrive from battle, we will keep our thoughts to ourselves - and even though I’ll feel for you. 

I’ll feel your anger, and your disappointment in what you’ve become. I’ll feel the fear of the darkness to which you haven’t got completely used yet, and never will. And also the fear of dragging me down with you – even if you can’t help it.

I’m the one who will hold you when you _break_ down. I’m the one who will see you in your _worse_. I’ll know and understand this side of you. The side life has made of you.

And I will love you. Yes. I’ll love you, I’ll love you in a whole. Because you’ll need me. And I’ll need you. We’re going to be the best thing we will have. And yet, we’ll know we could have been so much more. And maybe we’ll wish everything was different, the world and ourselves. 

For I can love you as much as I can, I know it still won’t be enough. You can’t give yourself fully when you live in fear, you can’t fully love someone when you’re shattered to pieces. When you have nothing to give, how do you love then? What do you give then? They can be your hope; you can love them to make the pain go away, theirs and yours.

But that’s it.

I’ll not be one of the _many_ good things of your life, I’ll be one of the _few_. I’m here to complete this version of you. This shattered version of you. You don’t need to worry. I’ll love you. I’ll love you more than anything. And I’ll save you from your darkest times.

Maybe someday you’ll be fixed – if I have an opportunity of putting you back together, I will. You will be better and I’ll watch you go way, I’ll watch you go on with your life. We won’t need each other then. And maybe you’ll find love, and I’ll find love too, not on ourselves, but in other partners.

And there will come better times, softer times, but the stain, the pain that hit us once, will be forever there, like a scar. And, even though we will be apart, there will be this dark shared life inside of us, of which we will talk to no one, that will be forever and wholly ours.

**Author's Note:**

> So, Destiel fic: I was picturing a bit distant future in which Dean and Cas would both end up with other lovers, but the difficult and sad times they went through together would remain theirs, and theirs only. I wanted to show that they complete each other when they are broken, in the dark.
> 
> But, for some reason, I didn't post it then, so the fic just sat there, forgotten, for like two years. And, these days, having just finished Black Sails, I was reading my old writing and I was really shocked at how well this story fit the canon of Black Sails. So I made a few minor changings and decided to post it, and that's it, that's the story: I wrote a silverflint fic with no intention of doing so, two years before actually knowing silverflint.
> 
> ~~oh, also, I hope you've enjoyed it :)


End file.
